Mrs. Bako's fiftieth birthday party

"I told her we would try to come," David explained as he woke me up from my nap. "We have to leave now if we're going to get back by six."

I was anything but happy about going to visit the matron from our hospital for her fiftieth birthday. I'm not very good at visiting in general, not being much of a people person, but a birthday party would be even worse, I knew, because there would be lots of people. But David won out in the end, as he usually does, and we went to the party.

Mrs. Bako's house is about fifteen minutes away, but we had to hire a taxi to take us. (We have a car but not fuel, petrol costs being about $10/gal.) Usually, taxis run like buses in the U.S. - on specific routes. But David knew I was tired, so he hired the taxi to take us all the way there. We didn't have good directions, so David called Mrs. Bako when we got to a landmark and asked where to go next. Instead of directing us, she sent her son (on foot) to lead us the rest of the way. Her house was quite a ways off the main road, and we drove through the Federal Government College, then walked through a few yards to get there.

There was a small crowd at Mrs. Bako's house. Apparently, we'd just missed the actual party and had come in time to join a few stragglers. On the porch, we were introduced to Mrs. Bako's mother, who is "very strong and still farms." The matron herself greeted us warmly, and we wished her a happy birthday. "And many happy returns," as the others said. At the door, I paused. There were several pairs of shoes outside the door, and I could see carpet inside the parlour. But the hostess herself had on shoes. Should I take mine off or leave them on? David had already untied his shoes, so I started to slip off my sandals, when Mrs. Bako scolded us and ushered us into the house with our shoes on. *shrug*

We went inside and sat in the parlour, greeting all the others as we did so. Another doctor, Dr. Sule, arrived with his family, and he made his greetings. (He was barefoot!) After a few moments, a woman brought us each a mineral (soda/pop) and a styrofoam box of food. Inside was some masa (fried corn cakes), birthday cake, and a few pieces of meat. Very generous!! For some reason, I hadn't been expecting food (what was I thinking?), but it was delicious!

We sat for awhile in the parlour, just sitting and listening to the conversations of party guests around us. I hardly knew anyone, but it didn't matter since they were all speaking in Hausa anyway. The woman who had brought us food then brought us a bookmark and calendar with Mrs. Bako's picture and name on them. (That's what people do here, commemorative gifts for guests. At our wedding, guests were given trays with our photo and nsmes on the bottom, unbeknownst to us!)

After a little while, Dr. Sule got up to leave and offered us a ride. We said farewell and congratulations again to Mrs. Bako, greeted her mother on the porch on our way out, and walked to the car. Dr. Sule has a 2-door, 4-passenger car. We were five adults and three children. Did that bother anyone? Nope! We all fit in snugly, and Dr. Sule drove us home along some very awful dirt roads. (We scraped bottom several times with all our weight!)

And we were home by 5:20, with forty minutes to spare before supper. And all in all, we had a good time. What matters is that we made an appearance. Greeting is such an essential part of Nigerian culture (and such a headache for those of us who are socially inept), so I'll learn to visit with the best of them!

Happy birthday, Mrs. Bako!