in America

Just a quick note to say that we made it here to California safely and - for the most part - soundly. We're exhausted and dealing with a lot of emotional stress while we finish up college applications and figure out our lives.

I'll keep you posted...

The next few weeks

I hope Chiato delivers her kittens before we leave! It would be so fun to meet her kittens and get to name them! But we'll just have to be patient, I guess. You can probably induce kitty labour, but I don't know anything about it, and since I don't want my kitty to end up with a kitty C-section, I'll just wait patiently, thank you very much.

Well, we're very nearly "all packed," which is not at all the same thing as "ready to go." There are still piles and piles of stuff in our house that I'm not sure what to do with. A lot of it is good stuff that I'd hate to just throw away. But to whom shall I give it? I have another whole box full of borrowed items that we need to return. And then there's our few dishes and silverware that we've held onto after selling the rest. There are still pieces of furniture - our dining room table, living room furniture, two bookcases, David's dresser, and our "hanger" (wooden structure for hanging our clothes, since we have no closet) - and all of David's stuff, which he refuses to pack until the last minute. When I asked why, he said he didn't need to pack any earlier. "But what's the advantage of waiting?" I asked, to which he responded, "Because I can." Ah, of course. Very logical.

We plan to send most of our things down to the capital on Tuesday with a neighbour who's traveling with an empty van. She'll leave the luggage at a guest house for us to pick up on Saturday when we get a ride with other friends. At least, this is what we hope will happen. This is Nigeria, so we must expect that several things will change between now and next Saturday. Assuming all goes reasonably well, we'll spend our last three days in Abuja and fly out next Tuesday, the 27th, to arrive in San Diego in time for dinner on Wednesday the 28th. Wow. It's so crazy I don't even know how to comprehend it all.

From the 28th on, things get pretty hazy. Our top priorities immediately will be getting a cell phone, a car, and David's driver's license. Then we job hunt and finish our applications to schools for David to do a one-year nursing degree. If he gets a fabulous job, we won't go to school, but if we get lousy jobs or no jobs, he'll start school in August. (At least, we hope so.) Where? Good question! No clue. It's all pretty fuzzy. Oh, and what will we do until August? Again, no idea.

Some people have commented to me that they're so moved by our leap of faith, but I'd better clear that up right now. There's nothing moving or spiritual about this for me. There should be, but I am one of the greatest worriers of all time. I can't sleep at night for worrying about everything. David, probably, has huge faith in a benevolent God and knows that everything will turn out all right. And I know it in my head, too. My heart, though, is all twisted up in knots about this venture. So don't even think about applauding my faith. I don't belong on a pedestal. Please take me down!

Evenings

One of David's relations had surgery on Wednesday, so we went down on Thursday evening to pay our respects. He was pretty miserable and out of it the whole time we were there, but his son Dominic was around, so we stayed to chat a bit. David and Dominic were classmates in primary school.

I noticed after being in the ward for about five minutes that I wasn't smelling anything. Usually, there are all sorts of smells in the male ward, the two most prominent of which are urine and disinfectant. But that evening, I smelled nothing. It was pleasantly surprising! I also noticed some improvements in the male ward since the last time I'd been there (at least a year ago). There are now bright blue mosquito nets hanging over most of the beds. (These were all drawn up when we were there, so I don't know if they actually get used, but I assume they do.) Also, the lighting was actually quite good. Only one of the fluorescent bulbs (of perhaps ten) was working, but most of the half dozen incandescents were burning merrily. With music from someone's radio, it was almost cheerful in there - a thought I'd never have had a few years ago... But then I've never been a patient there, and I'm sure that makes a huge difference, too.

**********

Yesterday evening, as we were getting ready to finish up some packing and head to my parents' house for pizza, I heard crackling outside and knew immediately that there was a fire. This is a very agricultural community, and fire is just part of the package of dry season: slash and burn. So no one really panics when there's a fire. After all, that's how we get rid of most of our trash - by setting fire to it. I t hink Africans must be experts at controlled fires.

But it was still a very large fire, and the longer I stayed in the house, the more I worried that it might spread beyond control. I hurried David to finish what he was doing so that we could get out of the house. The smoke was billowing, and the stench followed us the 100 meters to my parents' house. And yet the fire was contained.

This morning, there's a very large patch of black earth outside our house. I guess the good thing is that if there's another controlled fire, there's so much ash in front of our house that there's nothing left to burn!

Babies, kittens, eye doctors, and denied diplomas

What do these all have in common?

Umm...Nothing, really. Except that each thing has a bearing on our lives right  now.

Babies

NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT. On the contrary, I am happily the mother of one rambunctious boy and am praying to my gracious Heavenly Father for the energy to take care of just one.

No, it's my friend Katharina who has just delivered a darling baby girl. I don't know Katharina very well, but she is also a Niger wife (foreign woman married to a Nigerian man) and got married a few months after David and I did. She's from Germany and is quite a delightful person. We bonded a bit after I sent her a text that she should come get some of my baby things. I ended up giving her some clothes and blankets plus sundry items that those of you who have delivered may remember from your own experiences. (Excuse me for not elaborating. If you've delivered, you can probably guess, and if not, never mind.) She asked me lots of questions about labour and delivery, and I felt like a real expert.

She was due January 2, so early last week, I started carrying my phone around with me wherever I went, just in case. (The hospital is a five-minute walk from our house, so I'd offered to be available in case Katharina and her husband Israel needed anything during the delivery.)

Wednesday evening, David, Timoth, and I took an evening stroll and saw Katharina's car at the maternity ward. When we stopped in the ward, we heard a nurse say that the gynaecologist was sewing someone up after a delivery. David knew then that it was Katharina! When we got home, I sent a text reminding her that we'd love to help. She called an hour or two later to say that yes, she'd delivered a baby girl, and they were hungry. So I took them down some dinner and got to meet beautiful Baby Jireh. What a precious gift! Hearing about the labour, I was really struck with how easy mine was! It was hell on earth, but it was short, compared to most first-baby deliveries. (Poor Katharina was in labour for 16 hours!) And I was also reminded that I do not want to have another baby anytime soon!! But here's to Jireh and her strong parents!

Kittens

I keep forgetting to mention that our cat, Caramel Macchiato (who has become my parents' cat) is pregnant! She's about to burst, as far as I can tell, but then I've never actually had a pregnant cat before. We have no experience with feline births or kittens. I'll be sure to post when she delivers, but in the meantime, I'm welcoming suggestions and advice from experienced cat doulas.

Eye doctors

David and I both got to visit our eye doctor this week. I say "our" not because I've been to him several times but because he's a neighbour I've known for over ten years. He's not actually an ophthalmologist proper but has had eye training and holds some sort of diploma. To me, he's as good as an ophthalmologist.

It sure was different from visiting the eye doctor in the States. For one thing, it was a lot cheaper! But aside from that, it was just a much more pleasant experience. I didn't get any eye drops, and that made all the difference. It was kind of fun to put on the pair of frames that had empty slots of lenses instead of using the big machine that eye docs use in the States. More than that, though, when the optometrist tried different lenses on me, I could read three letters on the line below 20/40!!

I guess that calls for some explanation. My mom's side of the family has a history of congenital optic nerve atrophy, where the optic nerve degrades over time. I've worn glasses since 2nd grade, but my eyesight has never been better than 20/40 even when corrected. If your vision is 20/20 or better, there is no way I can make you understand what it's like to need glasses. Without my glasses, I can't see the letter on top of the chart. In fact, the nurse had to be about five feet away before I could even tell how many fingers she was holding up. We're talking about being blind as a bat, seeing only shapes and colors. I can't even read a book without needing my glasses. And when the optometrist took my glasses away to measure the lenses, I nearly had a panic attack. Being without those little bits of shaped plastic is like being deaf or mute or paraplegic. I had to keep my eyes closed as much as possible because only then can I not tell that my glasses are removed. It's awful--tight chest, watery eyes, quickened pulse. I was sure glad to get my glasses back.

And I was glad to hear that new lenses might be able to allow me to see three letters better than 20/40! Yeah! David got glasses, too, but he doesn't think he'll really need to wear them. His vision is better than 20/40 without glasses! I hope Timothy has inherited David's eyes and not mine.

Denied Diplomas

David has applied to his school for a replacement diploma and has been informed that the school doesn't give replacements, ever. But after consulting the organisation that will license David to practice, we understand that a letter from the university dean saying as much will suffice. Phew. David will go to Zaria tomorrow to apply for that letter in person, and he'll be gone a day or two if we're lucky. So hopefully we'll still apply for David's USMLE steps, and he'll take them this spring and summer. But we're also applying for him to do an accelerated BS in Nursing, just in case.

So much going on!! Between all this and packing and sorting... We've already sent two boxes of books with a friend who traveled Thursday, and I'm so relieved. We also have prospects to take two more small boxes of books. It'll all work out somehow. We leave Jos in 14 days, the country in 16 days. Kai!

Est/Ouest

We watched the movie Est-Ouest (East/West) last night, and it's haunting me still. I can't explain it exactly. Sometimes, movies just hit me that way. Titanic was the same way over ten years ago.

Briefly, Est-Ouest is a French film following a Russian doctor and his French wife who return to Communist Russia after WWII, when Stalin issues an invitation to all who fled in 1917 to return. Alexei and Marie Golovine arrive in Odessa with their young son and discover that the welcome they hoped for is nowhere near the truth. They are both faced with the bleak reality of life in Kiev in 1946, and it tears apart their lives.

Maybe this movie impacted me because David and I are also a cross-cultural couple, and because we're probably going to make several moves in our marriage, some presumably to "challenging" places. Not that I'm worried that our marriage would completely fall apart. We have a solid base in Jesus, and we've made the commitment to stay together through thick and thin, in wealth and poverty, sickness and health. But the stress could still be there someday. And I sympathise so strongly with the character Marie. My heart goes out to her. And the decisions that she and Alexei made at the end of the movie--what would I, or we have done?

I recommend the film. It's rated PG-13 for some adult scenes, so I wouldn't suggest you let your kids watch it. But it's definitely worth seeing.

Selling our lives away

We were invited recently to partake in a community sale yesterday morning, so I spent all day Friday going through our things--mostly clothes, baby items, and wedding gifts--and pricing them for sale. It was a huge task and took me all day long. I priced as many things as I thought would fit into my parents' car. (We don't have a car, and my dad had agreed to transport our stuff to the sale.) They have a little station wagon, and somehow we managed to fit everything in.

David agreed to stay home with TImothy to allow me to work the sale, but about a half hour before we were to leave, he got called from the hospital and discovered that he was on call. (Each month they had out a call schedule, but it's always a few days late.) Since we're leaving in 3-1/2 weeks, he had told the chief resident that he wouldn't take any more calls. After all, he won't get paid for them. But there had been a misunderstanding, so David had to stay home and take the call. So we packed Timothy into the car with all the stuff, and Mom agreed to watch him at the sale.

We got to the sale later than I'd have liked (my parents had had morning visitors who delayed them at the last minute), so I was still setting up while people were pawing through our items. We were assigned two square plastic card tables side by side, with an umbrella in one. Thank goodness for that umbrella! It turned out to be quite a warm day, despite its being January and dry season.

The wedding gifts I'd brought to the sale were all dishes of some sort. We were already using three sets of dishes--two of which we sold as used--but the rest were in boxes and still brand-new. They went like hot-cakes! My kitchen utensils, too, were snapped up right away. The other stuff took longer to sell, but by 12:15, we'd gotten rid of at least two-thirds of our stuff. Yeah! And we made over $350! Very successful, I'd say. We did come home with quite a bit still, but if we don't sell it, we'll either take it with us or give it away. I'm not too worried. A lot of people lost their homes in the recent unrest, so I'm sure our things will be put to good use.

A Dutch family came by after the sale to pick up some of our furniture, too. We had to scramble to get it all cleaned out before they arrived! But we managed. And they somehow fit it all into their van. Phew! We sold our hutch, so now we have our dishes on a bookshelf, the way we did for the first 8 months we were married. And we sold our TV stand, nightstand, and bedside dresser. So there's a lot of stuff on the floor! Tomorrow I'll have to start sorting that as well. Fun fun fun!

Addendum to the shape of our future

Someone made a surprised comment that we're still planning on moving to the U.S., so I thought I'd better explain that.

We've already bought our plane tickets to fly out of Abuja on January 27! After an overnight flight to Malabo and then Frankfurt, we'll catch a flight to Chicago, where we have five hours of layover, and we end up in San Diego by about 18:00 on January 28. Since we've already bought these tickets, we're going, regardless of whether or not we have the diploma!

Although our plans may be pushed back a year as far as David's licensing, it's still in our best interest to go ahead and move now. David will be able to get better test prep in the States, and if we both have jobs, we can be saving a little money (hopefully!) for when he's a resident.

Then again, even though we still don't have David's diploma and probably will not be able to get a new one before we leave, we hope we will still be able to apply for David's exams, to be completed this spring and summer. We're not sure it's possible, but we're going to try anyway.

And the biggest reason for our continuing on as planned is that David's entry visa to the U.S. lasts six months. We knew that when we applied for the visa, and we are definitely seizing the chance to move as long as that lasts. If we stayed here and let the visa lapse, we'd have to start again from the very beginning, losing time, money, and sanity!

So we are still moving to San Diego in 3-1/2 weeks. We're still in need of housing, a car, and jobs. Kai. Thanks for all your support!

• See David's résumé on Yahoo HotJobs.
• See my résumé on Yahoo HotJobs.