18 October 2014

To the reader who wrote a bitter comment

You know who you are. And you left your profile as "Anonymous" probably for a reason.

Since I can't respond to you personally, I'll go ahead and do so here.

First of all, I did not ask you to read my blog. As it is public, I welcomed all readers. (You have--for obvious reasons--made me rethink this and consider making it a password-only blog.) If you are really so bothered by my words (and attitudes as portrayed in my words), why do you keep reading?? It obviously has not benefited you; on the contrary, it seems to have upset you and made you bitter and resentful. I can't for the life of me understand why you'd continue to read something that repels you so immensely. If my blog upsets you, for goodness' sake, don't read it.

Second, if you know me personally and have not told me these things to my face, I'm embarrassed to know you. I think you're spineless. If someone who knows me (and knew my ex-husband--which is probably hardly anyone) feels this way and hasn't said something, he should be absolutely ashamed of himself. If you're my friend, it is your responsibility to get up in my face and give me constructive feedback. It'll hurt a lot, and I will probably be resentful for awhile, but in the long run, it's the right thing for both you and me. So don't be "anonymous." If you can't talk to me to my face or even in a private, personal letter, then you have no right to say anything at all. What's more, the tone of your comment was obviously not meant to build up in love but rather to tear down in hurtful criticism. While I--as I said above--would appreciate (eventually) constructive criticism from a friend, this is in no way at all constructive, so you're clearly not a friend.

Third, if you don't know me personally, and you have the balls to write what you did on the blog of a perfect stranger,  God forgive you for your spite and anger because I can't. If all you know about me is from my blog, you are a sadly uninformed individual. You don't know me. You don't know anything about my past or my present except for what I've chosen to let you see. You are rude and arrogant to think you have the right to publicly chastise me. Shame on you.

Lastly, I don't blog for your audience, and I never will. I blog mostly to share my thoughts and feelings with people who actually care, who actually want to know how I feel. Whether my thoughts and feelings are "good" or "right" or "healthy" is none of your business. While I generally try not to offend, I don't believe in hiding behind tradition, bias, political party lines, or any other classification. I will as much as possible tell things the way I see them. Feel free to disagree. Feel free to leave rude, angry comments. Most likely, they'll be deleted, since the rest of my followers don't need to be poisoned by your bitterness. You called me "selfish" and "attention-seeking," and you know what? You're right. This is my forum. This is my space. And I will be as self-centered as I want right here, in this little bit of cyberspace.

As for my kids, they will grow up strong and compassionate. They will learn that life hurts and that God is bigger than life. They will make mistakes, as I make mistakes, but they will know that they are loved--by their mommy and their daddy. God's grace abounds.

His grace abounds for you, too, in spite of every kind of evil you have tried to throw my way. I am not ready to forgive you, but God is.