In 2006, I returned to Nigeria and got married. It may not have been the happiest day of my life, but my friends and family worked exceedingly hard to make it a lovely and beautiful day. I'm so grateful! And I'm ashamed that my marriage went sideways after all the wonderful people who helped me celebrate its beginning.
56. "One Voice" by The Wailin' Jennys - My brother introduced me to this song, and he sang it together with my sister and me at my wedding. I adore it.
57. "Back to December" by Taylor Swift - I associate this song with San Diego, and so I thought that it must have come out when I lived there in 2005-2006, and I heard it on the radio during my hour-long commute that year. But it didn't! It came out in 2010, so I have no clue why it makes me think of San Diego. But it does, for whatever reason, and it brings out all the wistful feelings.
58. "Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood - We moved to the U.S. in January 2009, just after Obama's inauguration. Right away, things were hard. We stayed with my amazing extended family for a couple of months, but finding work and creating a path forward was more challenging than either of us had expected. Without a good job, our first four years in the States put pressure on us as a couple, as a family, and on me as a person. I often felt completely out of control of my life, like all I could do was hang on for the ride.
59. "Rue's Farewell" by James Newton Howard - During this time, when the kids were still super little, I rediscovered my love for books. (I'd had to take an extensive reading break after college.) When Facebook friends mentioned the film The Hunger Games, I immediately went out and bought the books and devoured them. While the whole trilogy is melancholy, this song... Just tears.
60. "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood - Carrie's got some fantastic jaded-woman songs. This is my favorite, but "Two Black Cadillacs" is right up there, too. While I was not (to my knowledge) the victim of cheating, this song encapsulates all the bitterness and anger that led up to the end of my marriage. Love love love this song. At the time, I created a Pandora station to catch all my favorite angry-woman country songs. It was glorious.
61. "Need You Now (How Many Times)" by Plumb - This was my theme song for 2012 and 2013. Everything was falling apart. This was another scream-the-lyrics-in-the-car-while-sobbing song.
62. "Dumbledore's Farewell" by Nicholas Hooper - This song is representative in a way the others aren't. I don't even know if I watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Price during this period, though I had seen it before. But this song is a stand-in for April 2013, when my grandpa died. I had waited too long to go see him and was literally on my way there when I got the call that he had passed. This song is for Grampa.
63. "The Parting Glass" by The High Kings - After my grandfather died, my family got together in California, including my dad, who flew all the way from Nigeria. I left the kids with relatives in Georgia, where we lived at the time, and flew out by myself. During that week, we watched Waking Ned Devine in my grampa's honor, as my aunt said he had enjoyed the film. I've heard several versions of this song, including the one in the film, but this is my favorite. It speaks to me of that week with my family, of saying a final goodbye to Grampa, but also of coming clean to my family about what was happening in my marriage, and saying goodbye to that, too.
So here we are in 2013. The week with my family for my grampa's memorial was the end of many things but also a new beginning. Looking back, I can see the signs so clearly that were still murky at the time.
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