The grammar book

I finally finished this huge mammoth grammar textbook that I've been editing for the past month. Holy cow, what a job. I was struggling to finish it before we leave so I can use this week to get my Joint Project stuff finished and then pack. Actually, we're pretty much packed, but I know I'll have trouble sitting still at all this week.

This book was so dreadful that I almost didn't agree to edit it in the first place. I figured it would take me between 60 and 80 hours to do. And I didn't keep track, but I'm sure it took at least that long. It was dreadfully written. The sentences were poorly constructed. There were mistakes left, right, and centre. The authors didn't follow any of the grammar rules they wrote about. Oh, it was atrocious.

I didn't start keeping a record of my favourite mistakes until about page 40. Oh, and by the way, I condensed it--between formatting and rewriting--from 296 pages to 230 (including an automatic--yay, Microsoft Word--comprehensive table of contents that's 13 pages long). Yeah!

Okay, so here are some of my favourite errors from the book, copied and pasted exactly the way they were written. Some of them are so bad I can't even figure out what they're supposed to say! Enjoy!

• The god grabbed the bone with its teeth and rushed into the undergrowth.
• The robbers surrounded themselves to the police
• As we climbed the mountain, our guild slipped and fell.
• In development countries people (die) of malaria.
• That house wroth several thousands naira when I bought it.
• The referee shew the player a red card.
• The choir sand a beautiful song on the day of vocation.
• He born the blame after being found guilty though innocent.
• While he was sleeping, an enemy sow tares
• Happy and contended, the cat fell asleep.
• Punishments ring wisdom; it is the healing art of wickedness – Pluto.
• ______ English teacher told us that he has been ____ loaf of whites that cannot construct ____ sentence correctly.
• The man always complaints that he has very little clothes.
• Oh my love’s so red for a ripe rose.
• What a piece of work is man; How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! IN action how like an angle! In apprehension, how like a god.
• As over-used idioms then become clinches – tired and almost meaningless . Some of these clinches are
• wait till the clause fill by
• give the cold shudder
• The woman felt said when their agreement fell through, and their arrangement came tooting.
• When the water hits the fire, it favourites, cutting off the air supply…
• Cissey immediately shot cut of he chain ready to vent his spleen on these underlings but suddenly plapped back into his seat.
• it is foot-hardy attempting to lend a helping hand
• if you are a retired general or a permanent secretary with loads of honey
• …the insets hop from leaf to leaf
• the refreshing breeze bends the tall tress that guard the building
• behind the strongly built bugler proof iron bars
• the system is still in a parious state
• low self-exteem
• golf, volley ball, able tennis
• the participants in the competition were respondent in different attires
• Make sure your essay is presented in a form of a slow flowing stream. It should be a flawless, well punctuated and of good spelt words.
• A mammoth crowed gathered there
• Drumming and dancing of the various title holders added pump and pageantry to the already charged atmosphere.
• Some even instigated juniors to pen disobedient
• We all wish you save journey home.
• double, triple and quadripple syllables
• use the various assignments given to access the performance of their students
• Teachers should not be complicense with assignments