Today

What a day!!

06:00 - beep! beep! beep! The alarm on my watch goes off. I groan, turn off the fan (David's freezing anyway), and climb out of bed. (Remember that our "bed" is a mattress on the floor, so when I say "climb," I mean it.)

06:30 - "Good morning!" A van pulls up to our flat, Uncle Danny McCain driving, Auntie Ros Yilpet riding shotgun. I clamber into the backseat, clinging tightly to my little "My Clear Bag" that contains my original marriage certificate; a copy; and an envelope with rather a lot of naira, my passport, four passport photos, and my birth certificate. In my other hand is my purse and a plastic bag with my breakfast and a 1.5-L bottle of boiled water.

06:40 - Chinese Fire Drill! We all get out and switch seats. Andrew, the McCains' right-hand man (and driver) puts his luggage in back and climbs into the driver's seat. Uncle Danny rides shotgun, and Auntie Ros and I scuttle into the way back.

06:50 - Another passenger adds his kaya (stuff) to the pile in the boot and jumps into the backseat in front of Auntie Ros and me. (I never did find out his name.) And we're off again.

07:00 - And another comes on and another comes on, and another rides the bus. (Weird Al) We pick up our last passenger (so I think), who throws in his overnight bag, pillow, and briefcase, and climbs in beside John Doe. Andrew pulls the van onto the main road, and we leave Jos by just about 07:10.

08:30 - "Particulars, please." We get pulled over by the police, who want something or other that we don't have. *groan* I pull out my Terry Pratchett book and start to read while Andrew - and then Uncle Danny as well - sort through the problem.

09:00 - Uncle Danny sends us a few km away to go pick up our final passenger, who happily takes the last seat, telling us about the student riots at his school the day before. (He's a professor.)

09:10 - We go back to the police checkpoint, pick up Uncle Danny - who has purchased the missing particulars - and head onward.

09:15 - "Particulars, please." Oh, not again. Beside me, Auntie Ros is beginning to be concerned; I can tell. She pulls out the passport application form she's printed from the embassy website and starts to fill it in. I look at my watch every 30 seconds or so. Apparently, we're missing some other essential component to our vehicle's particulars.

09:35 - "Oh, look, it's the Abayas," Auntie Ros tears my attention from my book. Mutual friends of ours, whose son was my classmate way back, have pulled up in front of us. They walk back to the van to chat for a few moments. Suddenly Uncle Danny (who'd jumped out earlier to negotiate with the policemen) pokes his head in the window. "These people are going straight to the embassy," he informs us. "Go with them." So Auntie Ros and I gather our belongings, jump out of the van, and rush to the Abayas' minivan. We clamber aboard, and Rev. Abaya speeds off down the highway. (Apparently, they weren't missing the essential particular!) God bless the inventor of air conditioning!

10:00 - We turn onto the dual carriageway that leads to the capital. Even in the air conditioned car, I'm sweating. Auntie Ros is napping, but I can feel her tension even in her sleep. We're still a good 45 minutes from Abuja and running very late.

10:45 - We pull up to the Abayas' friends' house in Abuja. The others rush out to use the bathroom (knowing they won't be able to at the embassy until after their visa appointment at 13:30). Auntie Ros and I wait in the car, trying to be patient. She calls her cousin to ask him to meet us at the embassy at 12:00 to take us to the ABC bus station.

11:05 - We're at the embassy! Auntie Ros and I rush up to the security guard, are allowed through, and get held up for 15 minutes at the metal detector. The security person takes out all our liquids and metal objects, asks us to turn off our phones and takes those, gives us badges, and sends us to the right place.

11:25 - We arrive at the U.S. Citizen area five minutes before the doors close. Praise God!

11:45 - We fill out our renewal applications, answer the nice lady's questions, and sit down to wait. There's a bathroom!! It's just like America with liquid hand soap and everything - even air freshener!

12:15 - We pay the passport renewal fee and sit down to wait. It's less than what we'd expected, so we're happy campers.

12:25 - The nice lady gives us back our passports with receipts, and we scurry back to the security station. We collect our things (chapstick included) and rush out the door. Auntie Ros calls her cousin because she doesn't see his car. He's at the ABC bus station. When he couldn't reach us (remember we had to relinquish our phones), he thought we might have gotten a ride with the Abayas. He'll come right 'round and get us.

12:50 - His black Mercedes pulls up, and we jump into the car, forsaking seatbelts, etc. Auntie Ros's cousin floors it through crazy capital traffic. I hold onto the door handle for dear life and pray for safety.

12:58 - We leap out of the car and run through the bus terminal to scramble onto the ABC bus leaving at 13:00 for Jos. ABC buses leave on time. We're the last ones aboard.

13:02 - The bus pulls out of the depot, and we're on our way home. There are curtains in the windows of the large van and sweet air conditioning. Plus we're only fitting three to a row instead of the customary four. I try to relax and stop thinking about how hungry I am.

15:00 - There's a five-minute stop at Akwanga. If there were restrooms I'd call it a pit stop, but... Auntie Ros and I each buy a small package of biscuits (cookies) to keep our hunger at bay until we get to Jos. We climb back in. The rubber insulation around the van door is half falling off. No one cares.

16:40 - Instead of railroad crossings with bars that come down, we have go-slows where the road curves around so sharply that you have to slow down before the crossing. (No trains, though.) On the outskirts of Jos, there's a rather large traffic jam where the policemen are stopping vehicles after the tracks. When we pull up the policemen after a 15-minute wait in line, he waves us on and salutes.

17:00 - Finally, we pull into the ABC bus station in Jos. Auntie Ros's husband is there to pick her up, and David pulls up just as the Yilpets are departing. I'm tired of jumping into and out of cars all day, so I merely plop myself into the passenger seat and let David drive. Talk about pooped.

BUT my new passport will be ready to pick up in two weeks - with my brand new name!