I remember

I remember waking up, panicky about the situation in Jos that week - riots in my hometown.
I remember going to the computer to check my email, finding nothing.
I remember going to BBC.com to try to look at world news (required for a class) and being frustrated that the page wouldn't load.
I remember trying another site and seeing a headline about a plane crash.
I remember exiting the browser without even thinking about the plane crash.
I remember racing to class, distraught and frustrated, and taking my seat with others my age who probably had also just woken up and raced to class.
I don't remember the instructor's telling us what had happened in New York, but I think he must have.
I remember someone - the department secretary, maybe? I didn't know her - coming across the hall to our classroom to tell us that a second plane had crashed into the other tower.
I remember the instructor's turning on the TV, watching the towers fall, feeling that awful, heavy rock in the pit of my stomach.
I remember classes being canceled for the morning and a special prayer service being called.
I remember sitting in chapel with Allison and just holding onto each other.
I remember Allison wept, and I was silent.
I don't remember having the energy to grieve for all of those people who lost their lives, for their families.
I remember Allison was wearing her Wonder Woman shirt.
I remember being terrified not only for my parents but also for friends I knew in New York.
I don't remember being afraid for myself, because I wasn't.
I remember Ruth's saying, "If we go to war, I'm going to join the Army."

I remember American flags everywhere I turned.
I remember "God Bless America" always reverberating in my ears.
I remember learning the story of Wheaton alumnus Todd Beamer, who participated in the heroic destruction of United 93.

I remember being repulsed by the wave of nationalism that suddenly overtook the country.
I remember people starting to openly hate anyone who looked even remotely Arab or Middle Eastern.
I remember "United We Stand" meant the country stood united against not only terrorism but foreigners.

I remember feeling less American than I had ever felt.

I remember.