Seven years ago today, I married an amazing, intelligent,
funny, godly, kind, and compassionate man.
In March 2011, he went to Iraq, and he did not come back.
In his place came an imposter who shared only some of the
personality traits and very few of the personal values of the man I married.
So today, I will celebrate the marriage I had with that
pre-Iraq man, the one who stole my heart and gave me two beautiful children,
the one who stood by me through a roller coaster four years of moves and changing
jobs. I will thank God for those good years and the man with whom I shared
them.
For he is no longer with us. He died in Iraq.
That guy who came back with his name and face? I don’t know
him. That guy filing for divorce? A total stranger.
I am a war widow.
If only the world could see.
I remember the pre-Iraq man, and the confident, happy wife you were then. And you are a woman of grace now, not throwing out the memories of those good years with the ones that came after. Your children will thank you for keeping the memories of the father he once was for them, as well as for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI have heard it said many times that war changes people, and I have known several people affected by those changes. I am sorry to add your name to that list, but know that I grieve with you and you are not alone in this type of sorrow. Happy Anniversary.
ReplyDeleteWish I could bring you a cup of coffee today. And I wish you were closer. Hope you can feel my hug today. Love you and your sweet beautiful children.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and tragic post. My goodness. The horrors of war - even for those who supposedly make it back 'alive.' I am so sorry for your loss. Keep writing. It's doing you and others you may never meet more good than you'll ever know. And, yes: Happy Belated Anniversary.
ReplyDeleteMaybe there was a change, but you can't turn back the hands of time. If he does not want to be with you, then let him go. Why are you allowing him to drag the divorce out and have everything on his terms? You are in control of your life. Take the steps to finalize the divorce and move towards a better future. You are a not a war widow. You are a war survivor.
ReplyDeleteI'm not "allowing" him to do anything. It is getting dragged out because he's "too busy" to follow up. I gave him some leeway because I *know* this is typically the hardest year of a doctor's life. Things will get sorted out. And he's not a terrible person, so "his terms" are likely to be fair. It's his lawyer I'm more worried about... As for taking steps to finalize the divorce, putting it like that makes it sound oh so simple when it's not. At all. Please don't belittle me. I'm handling this.
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