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I discovered recently that pinewood derbies are really popular. This probably
seems like non-news to most of you, but as the mom of young kids (and a single
mom, to boot), I wasn’t aware of the popularity of this event. But pinewood
derby is a Big Deal.
And it can be a lot of fun. I mean, what little kid doesn’t love a
race? Especially when his or her own creation is competing for a prize? It’s
adrenaline, it’s speed, it’s rapturous.
But I’m going to be a wet blanket and say I don’t like it. Designing is
fun. Creating is fun. Decorating is fun. And even racing is fun. I’m not
denying any of that. But can we all just agree to admit that it’s not about how
much time and work the child puts into the car but about the time and work the parent puts in? At least up until a
certain age, the average kid is going to make an average car. Only when the
parent steps in to make suggestions, buy accessories, and soup it up will a car
actually have a chance of winning.
I admit I didn’t want to be involved in the pinewood derby from the
very beginning. I felt overwhelmed, and the way things came together, I felt as
though I was just expected to know what to do: where to get the wood, how to
saw it, how to add wheels, what paints to use, how to get it a certain weight,
how to make it fast. When I tried to talk to other moms around me, they had all
done it before and just talked to me as though I was either stupid or crazy for
not having a clue. It was weird because these same women were usually friendly
and kind, but they obviously just couldn’t fathom my complete ignorance of this
activity. It was this condescension—unintended though I know it was—that first
gave me a bitter taste in my mouth. I’m not stupid. I’m an intelligent person,
have a college degree, have assisted in surgery, and have only not gone on to
grad school because I have no interest. I understand the basic laws of physics
as much as the next layperson.
But I’ve never worked with my hands, and I know absolutely nothing
about speed, aerodynamics, or wood. I have never in my memory used a saw,
especially a power saw. I have sanded wood maybe once or twice. I have never
painted wood that I recall. And when people say “weights,” I think of
dumbbells. I was told to watch YouTube videos, which is all well and fine, but
some people don’t learn well from watching videos.
To be fair, our leader planned a few building sessions to help not only
my son but also other kids complete their projects. She was magnanimous and helpful.
But when you’ve got that many kids and that little time, everything can’t
possibly get done. This year I sat entirely in the backseat, only watching
while my son picked a design, got the wood cut, sanded it, and borrowed paints
to make it pretty. I watched while someone else’s dad put the wheels on and
critiqued the car. Someone else did all the work.
But here’s the thing: my son couldn’t have done any of it without
another grown-up. (In his case, it took three of four.) People had to pitch in
because I was taking the backseat. And they’re busy people who had their own
kids’ cars to worry about. The most they could do is make sure my kid had a car. They couldn’t
be bothered about its design or its racing potential. While I’m super grateful
to them for making sure my son had a car, I also understand that he can never
win unless he has one adult who gives his or her all to make it happen.
The kids who actually won their races (at least in the younger grades) all
had huge parent/guardian participation. That’s just the truth. And they had all
raced before, so their parents had experience as well. So the competition was really
about how great the parents/guardians were rather than about how much work the
kids put in. This just doesn’t seem right to me.
Granted, they don’t compete for money, and each car wins some type of
prize. That is completely awesome, and I love that. But as far as the actual
race goes, I don’t like it. I don’t think it makes sense. What makes sense is
the kids making their own vehicles—or group vehicles—completely by themselves
and using all the same materials and components. Or not having a race at all,
just a fun building experience with maybe a contest for creative design—but all
building done together. That way it would be about what the kids are doing
rather than what the parents are or aren’t doing.
So unless all work on the cars is done together as a group, with each
kid getting equal help and the same suggestions from leaders, I don’t think we’re
going to participate in the pinewood derby. My son needs to know that he is not
less just because his mom can’t make a race car. He needs affirmation, and if he
competes, I want him to compete on his and only his skill.
